genius

in my deep and profound research into psychology i came across a picture of albert einstein. i don't know a whole lot about the man, but apparently he was pretty smart.
today in class we started with a quote from einstein which i found particularly interesting.

"Whoever is devoid of the capacity to wonder, whoever remains unmoved, whoever cannot contemplate or know the deep shudder of the soul in enchantment, might just as well be dead for he has already closed his eyes upon life."

i can't get away from this. i feel like i am just starting to wonder, i think i am only beginning to know the 'deep shudder', which makes me wonder if i had my eyes closed until now. i am really only starting to reconnect with the curious little boy that i once was, full of wonder and imagination. i am becoming softer; i am moved by the heartache and the oppression that dominate this world, and i cry for the souls that are being harmed.
these new beginnings make me sad for the years that i have wasted being hard and cynical. einstein would have said that i would have been better off dead, maybe so. but, even though i was 'dead' i have begun to open my eyes and my heart and be moved by others. i am free to wonder about myself and others and not have to fear what i may look like if i don't have a certain skill or set of intellectual knowledge.
letting go. fixing everything is not the answer. everything cannot be fixed.
more later.