3 signs of the apocalypse

today it was very windy in seattle. i'm not talking breezy, but the i-can-barely-stand-up-while-walking-down-the-street kind of wind. there were limbs and signs and trash flying everywhere. in many ways it was quite cool seeing how everything and everyone responds to unusually strong weather, but as the day progressed i discovered that perhaps the wind brought much more than swirling leaves and bedraggled pedestrians.
as i was returning home from the post office i walked past key arena, which just happens to be hosting ozzy osbourne tonight. the second sign, after the wind, were about 4 middle aged white guys decked out in flannel and outdoorsy type hats protesting the fact that ozzy was playing. don't worry they were also wearing sandwich boards that said things like "Jesus is the way, truth and light...". i clearly don't have a problem with Jesus, but what strikes me as completely ridiculous is that there exist people that find it necessary to use something like a rock concert to protest and proselytize. did anyone ever actually watch the osbournes? is ozzy really a dangerous threat to faith and christianity--seriously the guy can't even walk around his house, use a remote, or empty the trash. give me a break. if ozzy is the one bringing hell to earth then hell isn't really that scary after all. and i won't even get started on the image that those protesters create for christianity in general.
the third and final sign of the apocalypse came when i was walking to school this evening. i kept hearing a female voice screaming echoing off of the buildings and as it grew louder i knew i was getting close. as i crossed the next block i saw her a teenage emo-looking girl that was yelling at cars, pointing at everyone in proximity and yelling "i hate you" at the top of her lungs. she was clearly either psychotic, strung out, or both. i didn't think too much of it at the time--i work with these people on an almost daily basis--but as i started to catch her on my walk her rage turned toward me.
as i passed she looked at me and not-so-politely told me that she hated me. eh...that's not too unfamiliar, so i shrugged and went on my way. then she began to follow me continuing to express her extreme dislike for me. not only did she have a limited vocabulary and dialogical well to drink from, but after about 100 yards she decided that things needed to get physical. i heard her approaching me and turned around to look. when i did she started posturing and asking me if i wanted her to kick my ass. i kindly told her that i did not, but didn't have a chance to thank her for her offer. after i refused she charged me and shoved me. she's not a big girl, so it really did phase me, but i thought about having to use my fairfax ninja skills on her. fortunately right after this she was distracted by another person/object that she wanted to express her disdain for and left me alone. good move emo-girl, good move.
consider this fair warning: the winds are a blowin', ozzy's in town and people don't like it, and there are crazies all over the street assaulting people at will. the end is near.